Have you ever done something so terrifying that it makes you feel frozen in time?
If so, I’m with you.
This is the story of how I decided to pursue art instead of becoming a doctor and how it transformed my very being.
The love for art & science can co-exist.
(This feels utterly terrifying. I am the most vulnerable I can be within these paragraphs. I’m sharing this story not just for me but for anyone standing at a crossroads, afraid to take a step forward.)
My name is Nichole Sofia, and I am a 25-year-old woman who finally feels like she knows what to do with her life. At least for now.
To give a brief backstory—at the age of 18, I wanted nothing more than to become a doctor and have a successful, linear career with a clear upward trajectory. I had always loved science and learning. While also being a full-time athlete and having to study all the time, there was still a constant thorn digging into my side: I’m not happy here.
By the time I was 20, I had fallen into a deep depression that felt almost impossible to escape. I don’t want this to become a sob story, but at that time, life felt like it had little to no meaning. I was completely disconnected from everyone and everything around me, trapped in a constant state of limbo. It felt as if I were at the bottom of a well, looking up as my life passed me by. What’s going on? Why do I feel this way?
Time kept ticking. The days passed, and I had officially lost hold of the thread I once called my life. I lost sight of what I loved, of what made me happy. I lost sight of who I was. I was in the passenger seat while life sped in multiple directions with no final destination. I’m barely holding on.
The pandemic hit, and I had to fly back home. While continuing my education, I still felt utterly lost. I had to have difficult conversations with certain professors due to my lackluster performance and subtle disappearances.
I was drowning in uncertainty, barely holding on. It felt like I had lost all sense of purpose. But then, one day, I bought a simple gouache set. I didn’t know it at the time, but that small act would change everything.
Art saved my life.
How is it possible that a single moment in time could have changed my trajectory without me even realizing it?
I started painting again. I painted landscapes of places I wanted to see—beautiful places I would love to travel to someday. Here are some of them:
This was the first time I felt confident enough to start sharing my art. So I did—and what a beautiful time it was to be on social media (2020). Everyone was quarantined inside their homes; bored out of our minds, we had to release our energy somehow. Many of us dove deep into new territories out of boredom and curiosity. A lot of people started developing creative hobbies or launching small businesses.
I was one of them—I started a small jewelry shop, which came to an end after nearly two years. Maybe I’ll get into why that happened another time.
All that mattered was that I created. I studied, and I graduated. I officially had my degree in Biology.
Yet, I was sad and had no grasp on the ever-accelerating thread of my life.
(This is the part of the story where I remove much of the filler because this cycle continued. For 4 years. FOUR YEARS.)
To bullet point it out into brief explanations:
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Between 2020 and 2022, I experimented with different creative outlets—painting, jewelry making, and even running a small business. But through it all, something felt missing.
I started getting into hiking and even tattooed the words “Seek Discomfort” on my body because watching Yes Theory videos helped me get out of my funk and truly inspired me. The first video I watched was their documentary with Wim Hof—I highly recommend it!
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2023 – I started the year with an experimental painting titled "A Dreamer’s Path." This was the year I began to explore more—to become a bit more adventurous and allow myself to step into unknown territory. And I mean that in every aspect. I dyed my hair red, experimented with different art mediums, and took my first art class as a self-taught artist (which taught me the value of community). For the first time, I started to feel less alone.
One of the biggest things this year was that I dove deep into experimenting with art and exploring the different ways I could turn it into a tangible, successful career. This year, I finished 2 pieces I’m really proud of: Brunch Place in Yauco & Elaya’s Luminescence.
I could feel the thread now. At the beginning of 2024, my life began to shift.
2024 was the year I expanded my horizons. I had my first-ever art exhibitions, people bought my original paintings, and I traveled to Europe for the first time (I could make a whole separate blog post about that). I started making friends through my art community, and for the first time, I truly believed in the possibility of being an artist full-time. But even as I took steps toward making this dream a reality, one truth remained: my love for science never disappeared. It simply evolved.
The structured path I once envisioned for myself—of wearing a white coat and working in a lab or hospital—was replaced by something less conventional but equally fulfilling. I realized that I didn’t have to choose between art and science. The two could coexist in my life in a way that felt natural and inspiring. I just had to figure out how.
Now, in 2025, I know that I want to find a way to pursue both art and science. Lately, I’ve been really getting into physics and chemistry, and honestly, I kind of miss experimenting in a lab. There’s something about the process of discovery—the trial and error, the thrill of understanding something new—that reminds me of painting. Science and art both require curiosity, patience, and the willingness to explore the unknown.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this journey, it’s that life is not linear. We grow up believing that we must choose one path and stick to it, but what if we’re meant to explore multiple avenues? What if the things that bring us joy—no matter how different they may seem—can actually work together to create something even more fulfilling?
I used to think that walking away from my original dream of becoming a doctor meant failure. I used to fear that I was letting people down, that I was giving up on something important. But in reality, I was simply listening to myself. I was choosing to embrace what made me feel alive rather than what made me feel obligated. And that choice has led me to places I never imagined.
So, if you’re struggling with a similar dilemma, if you feel like you’re being pulled in multiple directions, I want you to know this: You don’t have to abandon one love to pursue another. You can build a life where all your passions have a place. You can forge your own path, no matter how unconventional it may seem.
The world needs more people who are willing to embrace the complexity of their dreams. It needs more artists who think like scientists and more scientists who see the world through the eyes of an artist. You are allowed to be both. You are allowed to evolve. And most importantly, you are allowed to change your mind.
For me, 2025 is about embracing both art and science. When I'm not painting, I'm studying physics and chemistry, diving into concepts that challenge and inspire me. Science fuels my creativity just as much as art does—both are about exploration, curiosity, and problem-solving. The more I learn about the universe, the more it influences the way I create, shaping my perspective and deepening my understanding of the world. Whether I’m experimenting with new painting techniques, analyzing scientific theories, or applying problem-solving skills to my creative business, I know I don’t have to choose—I can do both, and I’m excited to see where this journey takes me.
Right now, my focus is on completing my Beneath the Surface series—a collection of six paintings exploring the emotions of love and self-discovery. I’ve already finished two, have two currently in progress, and two more left to brainstorm and sketch before the series is complete.
Once this series is done, I’ll be diving into a new creative direction. Will it be inspired by science—physics, chemistry, or the mysteries of the universe? Or will it take me into history, mythology, and untold stories waiting to be visualized? I don’t know yet, but that’s the exciting part.
So here I am, still figuring it out, still painting, still learning, and still discovering new ways to merge the things I love. And if you’re on a similar journey, know that you are not alone. Take the risk. Follow the thread. And most importantly, trust yourself.
You don’t have to choose between logic and creativity, certainty and exploration. You are allowed to be more than one thing. You are allowed to be whole.
Have you ever felt pulled between two passions? How did you navigate it? Or are you still figuring it out like me?
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